I need to calm down. Now. Stop judging urself. It all doesn't mean anything. What does she mean based on parent feedback. I don remember hving bad feedback from parents. I know my relationship with parent is all good right? Why must she see both of us and talk about cases. We hv already done that during tracking what. Why i feel that he communicates more to her then me. Why i feel like im something is going to stab me from the back. Why am i so afraid. I hate this waiting. I hate that i cant mentor. Am i supposed to? Or not? Will it be a bad thing if he didn't turn how he is supposed to be. Or maybe they haven't seen his worst yet. The vp have im sure. But my pillar of strength is no longer here. Who is is helping me feel safe? I feel very vulnerable.

Shes more like who does better, who does more. But other is more like she's more experience, you should learn from her. I think its more like he graduate, so definitely better. Im kinda sick of all this crap. Maybe im still hoping for that recognition. Which i know for sure i will never get. So why hope? Like the quote "Just do what you are told. Don't beat urself up. Its not worth it." Should just do that. Its just January. Ur focus should be handover. Actually you should be doing much less. So u can train him. But the fact is. He not training material. Maybe i shouldn't tell her about my concern. She don't understand why anyway.  But i think i can just tell her that. P wants me to use this time to train and guide him and new one. I could emphasize handover. Anything to do w it. So that everyone clear that im leaving. I don't need to compete anymore. Im done here. Im still on top. Im leaving. Im handing over whether u like it or not.