Am I Shutting People Out?

I know it's been awhile since my last post. Well better late then never. It's Raya eve at work and I'm reflecting over this 4 years here. 9 years in service due to relocation. It's been lonely and depressing. I realized I have always shut people out once I don't trust them. I feel a little sad that I'm working under a rock' not socializing, good work goes unnoticed. I know it's time to move on. I wish its a little faster. I'm still bonded due to a course i just completed. I kept on thinking how in my future work I'm going to change things from the start. I'm going to force myself to socialize, to make an impression, in both the social as well as the work. I do not want this current work-style of doing great work unnoticed, and only my cluster mates knows what I'm doing. I kept on telling myself its the culture here that's different. It's like working in another country with different culture, where they may practice favoritism and very judgmental of your past. plus its not helping if you have a hypocritical boss. I have my fair share of bad bosses before. best to stay away from them because they are not my line of defense if something bad happens. they just want to cover their ass first. I have to be patient. just half a year and I'm outta here. No worries if I have no friends. or if others find me odd and unfriendly. I just want a more happier work life balance. I'm going to find my dream job one day. you'll see.