I didn't know my social anxiety plus consciousness was so severe. To a point I feel like others are afraid to start a conversation with me. Sometimes I'm too worried about what I say will be weird or rude or unacceptable. I try to be myself but it seems to not work. This period of self realisation allows me to observe and quickly learn hows others do it. It's so f*ING natural to some people, i hated them!! Like how to quickly translate to malay, how to be super nice and assuring and how to turn rejection or negative comments to positive ones. Hmz... 'kuar sikit nah? Tak biasa mkn laksa. Tapi mak suka. Abah tak mkn sgt' Or like 'tak amek lagi Mee? Makan kuih makan kuih' Or like 'sikit nye amek Mee! Semua rumah datang ada makan' It's a learning for me but it's so easy for some....