Social Outings

I would usually avoid social outings. This time with many of my hub's  friends including their family; wife and kids. But I braved up and went for it anyway. Wasn't like I was expected. Many times, all the men would gather together, leaving their wives and children to themselves. I was shocked!! I hated this anxiety stricken situation. What do I say? How do I start? Will they think I'm stuck up? Will they judge? Will they criticise? Will they create their own clicks and leave me out? All these thoughts running wildly, I was dumbfounded, I could not talk. I frozed up, like I always do. I would pretend to keep myself busy with Qistina, like a shield. But of course many times Qistina was w his dad and again the problem comes back. I felt that it was most obvious, when they came to our house. Or maybe its just me, being crazy sensitive. I felt left out, literally. I was lost, I don't know how or where to place myself. It was awkward. I wish I could just dissappear.

Thinking back, it's all about social skills, something self-learnt. Some people will be more natural then others. I could think back and learn. It's not just about preparing food prior the outing. It's about preparing social skills. Who's wife is whose? What they work as? How's their life experiences like? Should I create humour? I could prepare talking topics. I could memorise their names and children name. Getting people to like me is not important, it's how prepared are you in a social setting.

I proud of myself trying to move forward to fix this shyness problem. I should congratulate myself for the desicion to actually go for the outing itself. Time for a treat!!