Why so darn difficult for me time?

I'm sick of giving away my time and effort towards others. I have enough of trying to please others. I guese having to be more aware of my depression forces me to reflect. But I really have no choice. It is a cultural thing? Like once u are married you only devoted to do things for others and others only. Where's the taking care of me part? Where's the me time of happiness? Is that why most older malay women become fat and look forward to org kawins to go out and get dress during weekends. Omg I don wana b one of that! I need to redefine myself, do something I love. I tried to suggest to hubby to go night zumba classes on my own, but it's not gonna work out because I feel the responsibility of taking care of my dau. Again others.... When me?! I feel kinda stuck and angry. But what choice do I hv? I don go out. I don hv friends. I don do anything for leisure. Omg this all sounds so depressing. No wonder I hv depression. The only recent time I felt happy was the impulse decision to go to orchid garden on my birthday. I even loved the sweat in the heat! It's weird I know. It's exhilarating feeling. I wish I could do that again without caring for others for once. Why am I so worried about others? Partly it's because of how I'm being brought up as a child. I was a second mum to my little siblings. My parents argue alot and almost divorce. But my husband is also the.... Hmz how should I say this.. I donno but he has the way to talk out about something he don like to do. And I think being me. I always fall for it. Worst when it involves family function and we didn't go for it. Let's get back to the point. I wish some days are happy days like the orchid garden trip...